Shock the Monkey
by Lyndon Perry

    “You strapped in?”
    “Eee eee eee.”
    “Quit complaining, it’s regulations even for experienced space monkeys.”
    “Ooo ooo eee.”
    “Yeah, okay. When we jump to light you can move about the cabin. But no smoking, in case you were wondering.”
    “Eee eee ooo.”
    “I know you don’t want to go but your testimony is vital.”
    “Eee…”
    “Look, Mazaru, we’ve been over this. The Emperor of Alpha Orionis is accused of orchestrating the invasion of Beta Eridani. You and your two shipmates intercepted a vital communiqué that proves his guilt. You must appear before the Galactic High Council and condemn this monstrous evil.”
    “Eee.”
    “The Jungle World of Beta Orionis could be next, you know.”
    “Ooo eee eee.”
    “What do you mean that’s none of your business. Don’t the three of you care that the entire Galaxy is threatened? Our case is unraveling thanks to your friends. Mizaru now claims he didn’t see the Emperor’s holocast and Mikazaru says she didn’t actually hear him give the order to attack. Mazaru, you’re our last hope. Your evidence against him could put an end to this evil threat once and for all.”

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    “Is Mazaru prepared to testify?”
    “No, your Honor. He’s refusing to speak.”
    “I thought something like this might happen. Mizaru and Mikazaru aren’t cooperating either. They claim they didn’t see or hear any transmission about the invasion of Beta Eridani. Seems the Emperor got to all three of them. Well, well. Our space monkey friends may need a bit of incentive. We’ll start with this one. Bring out the quanta-flux memory joltalizer.”
    “But your Honor, that could permanently damage his mind. Mazaru might end up a vegetable!”
    “That’s a risk we must take. Office, strap him in. We’ll see if the joltalizer can’t help this chimp find his tongue. Now, turn the setting to eleven and prepare to throw the switch. Three, two, one…”
    “EEE!”
    “So my friend, you’re ready to talk after all. ‘See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil’ only goes so far when it’s your butt that’s on the line, eh Mazaru?”
    “ooo.”